What I Wish I Knew as a New Marine Corps Spouse

When I became a Marine Corps spouse, I didn’t fully understand the world I was stepping into. I knew I was marrying a Marine—strong, disciplined, and committed—but I didn’t yet realize I was also marrying into a lifestyle full of acronyms, long goodbyes, new beginnings, and a community unlike any other. Looking back now, here’s what I wish I had known from the start.

1. You Don’t Have to Know Everything Right Away

When you’re new, it can feel like you’re supposed to instantly understand the military system, from how Tricare works to when to stand up at a ball. You won’t. And that’s okay. Give yourself permission to learn as you go. Ask questions. Lean on other spouses. There’s no handbook—just experience and support.

2. The Marine Corps Will Impact Your Life, Too

While your spouse may wear the uniform, the military lifestyle will shape your everyday reality. PCS moves, deployment schedules, duty nights, and even simple things like holidays and birthdays may look different. This can be overwhelming—but it can also make you more flexible, resilient, and creative than you ever imagined.

3. Community is Everything

One of the greatest strengths of the Marine Corps life is the spouse network. Whether it’s a neighbor who helps when your car won’t start or a new friend who brings dinner after a baby, these connections are gold. Don’t be afraid to attend that coffee, join a group chat, or go to the family day. These people will become your extended family.

4. Deployment is Hard—But You Are Stronger Than You Know

No amount of pep talks can fully prepare you for deployment. The quiet house. The missed milestones. The nights you cry in the kitchen for no reason. But over time, you’ll discover that you can handle more than you thought. You’ll build routines, create your own joy, and come out even stronger.

5. Celebrate Small Wins

A successful solo grocery run with toddlers. Getting through a holiday on your own. Finding a new hairdresser after a PCS. These might seem minor, but they’re victories. Celebrate them. The little things are often the biggest milestones in this life.

6. Your Career and Dreams Still Matter

It’s easy to feel like your goals get put on hold in a life full of moves and transitions. But don’t give up. Military spouse employment is challenging, but not impossible. Be creative. Stay connected. Use resources like MyCAA, remote work platforms, or local programs that support military spouse careers. You matter, too.

7. Every Marine Corps Family Looks Different

There’s no one “right” way to be a Marine Corps spouse. Some are stay-at-home parents; others run businesses. Some attend every event; others keep to themselves. Your journey is yours—don’t compare. Find what works for your family and trust it.

8. It’s Okay to Ask for Help

You do not have to do it all alone. There are resources for nearly every challenge—whether it’s financial help, mental health support, childcare, or navigating Tricare. Don’t wait until you’re burned out to seek support. You’re not weak for asking—you’re wise.

9. You’re Part of Something Bigger

The Marine Corps life isn’t always easy—but it’s meaningful. You’ll witness sacrifice, strength, honor, and deep camaraderie. You’ll cheer for others, even in their hardest moments. And you’ll feel the pride of standing beside someone who serves with courage and commitment.

Final Thoughts

If I could sit down with my younger self, I’d say this: Give yourself grace. Laugh when you can. Cry when you need to. Say yes to friendship and no to pressure. You’ll find your way.

To every new Marine Corps spouse reading this: Welcome. You’ve got this. And you’re not alone.

Heather Escamilla is a proud Marine Corps Spouse, Marine Corps Mom, and mother to 3 boys and 1 girl! She serves as the Executive Assistant and Protocol Coordinator for the Marine Corps Association’s Marine and Spouse Programs.

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