In mid 2019, I found myself, an almost 34-year-old newly single woman dipping my toe into online dating. I had proclaimed many times leading up to this occasion, “I will never do online dating.” Ha! I was a full-time entrepreneur, a photographer specializing in weddings, family portraits, and freelance assignments for local publications. I loved my work; I thrived in the challenge of building something that was uniquely my own and worked as much as I possibly could. That did not leave much time for dating. 

As a daughter of a retired Army Sergeant Major, I watched my parent’s marriage implode and did the house shuffle back and forth throughout my teenage years. When it was time to start dating after my previous marriage ended two years prior, I was adamant I was not going to get involved with someone in the military. Did I mention I lived outside Wilmington, NC, near Camp Lejeune? Yeah, good luck with that plan. I also said I wouldn’t walk away from the thriving business I put so much hard work into when the military would inevitably force us to move. 

For weeks, when I joined Bumble, all I did was scroll aimlessly, not fully ready to commit to meeting my mate online. Then, one day during my mindless scroll, I saw him and thought, “Oh, he is cute.” Then, a closer look put his location as “Sneads Ferry.” No! He’s military, I know it. Instead of swiping or doing anything, I closed the app and continued my day. This happened two more times before I finally decided to give it a chance. Maybe he’s one of the rare people living in Sneads Ferry that isn’t on active duty? 

Our first date went well, and on our third date, the ball dropped. “I can’t remember if I told you this yet or not, but I am deploying in January for nine months.” That’s something I think I would have certainly remembered him telling me. It was late September, so my mind pulled me in a million directions. Jump ship now and run? Nine months? That’s a year, and I am not getting any younger. After a few more dates, he asked if I would wait for him until he returned,  “Yes.” 

About a month into his deployment, he sent me real estate listings around our area. I thought he was bored and shrugged it off. When he started asking me to visit these houses, I was dubious. We had never even broached the subject of living together, and now he wanted to buy a house while he was deployed. A month later, I closed on our home at the start of COVID on Easter weekend, and with the help of friends and family, I moved into our new home. This was the year we pulled out of Afghanistan, so thankfully, his nine-month deployment turned into five, and he returned home in May and was released from quarantine on Memorial Day. He still jokes that buying a house is the easiest thing he has ever done. 

The following year, we welcomed our son, Leif. My business had seen its biggest year to date, and my sister and brother-in-law had also moved into a house on the same street as us. Life was, perfect. We soon learned we were expecting our second child right around the time we were waiting for orders.  I wanted to stay in North Carolina but was open to going somewhere like Germany. My husband and I had connected over our love of travel.

I am walking through the grocery store when I see the text pop up: “So, Korea?” No, absolutely not. That is not what we discussed. Moments later, the phone rang, and I knew our fate was sealed. We could opt for one year unaccompanied, and I would stay behind with our son and continue with my work. Alternatively, I could once again say yes, sell our beautiful home, walk away from my business, and follow him overseas to keep our growing family together. “Yes.”

We welcomed our daughter in Korea a month after we arrived, and my postpartum journey was much more complex than with my son. Thankfully, I met a lifeline in fellow military spouse Caitlin Ward, and she invited me to partner with her on a monthly magazine she was producing for bases across Korea. That volunteer work, paired with finding a gym community at CrossFit Osan and a newly found love for solo travel with the support of my husband, got me through a tough time. 

Though I still photographed a few families in Korea, I found a new passion for travel photography and sharing those experiences through the written word. Writing was uncomfortable for me and outside of my usual creative outlet. With the encouragement of Caitlin, I continued to write and photograph and eventually launched my updated website, solely based on sharing stories from my travels throughout Korea and beyond.