A collection of messages, emails and Facebook posts to my deployed Marine ...

December 8PM

Jacob keeps telling me that he loves his Daddy.  He thinks Afghanistan is just down the street.   I'm sure it will take about a week for him to start to understand that you will be gone for a long time. He is now sleeping with his head on my shoulder just like he does with you, he misses you very much.   XOXOXOXO

December 9th, 530AM

Funny thing happened this morning...I was putting shaving lotion I use in the shower and because it is a big container, for a second, I thought, 'William won't like this big thing in here under his feet, of course it was a split second thought and I saw the silliness of it. You are everywhere here, not only in our heart. Miss you more than you know. 

Wait the doorbell just rang. BRB...your parents sent me a cookie bouquet. So pretty! Jacob is all fired up! I gave him the cookie shaped like a birthday cake. He loves it. That was so nice of your parents. I'm going to give them a quick call and I'll write you again later tonight.  Love you

9PM

Just checked in on Jacob. Our "guard" dog Gunnarr was deep asleep next to him without the slightest clue that I was outside the room. I have to give Sadie props, she looks up EVERYTIME I enter the room. As much a she drives me NUTS she's a really good guard dog.  TV break, just walked into the kitchen. It is so odd not having you here. Feels like you will be home any minute. I am trying not to feel bad. So I don't sleep as sound and I wake every half hour. No biggie, life of Marine wife.  Just gave Jacob kisses and told him they were Daddy kisses. I tell him you love him and will come home from work when you are done. I told him your work is far away. That it is very important, brave work.  He started asking for you today and was crying for you tonight when I was getting him ready for bed. A smile and some lovies calmed him. It's not easy but I smile and do my best.  I love you with all my heart.

Dec. 10th, 630AM

Thanks for the wakeup call I was so happy to hear your voice. Hope you were able to get a quick nap. Jacob is sitting here farting up a storm, gives new meaning to "little stinker". We are going to bake Christmas cookies tonight. Wish you were here. Love you, Donna

1:32PM

Today did not go as I had hoped it would. Jacob decided that he wanted to go to the park. After being at the freezing cold park for half an hour we went to the store to get the items needed to make cookies. That of course went VERY badly. There were no carts to put him in. We got a hand basket and started out to get our items. At first we were OK until he started pulling things from everywhere. Luckily there were not a lot of things to get so we went to check out. Since the lines were long, self-checkout seemed the fastest way. WRONG!!!!! Jacob threw himself on the ground, started licking the floor and rolling all over the place. People couldn't walk by; it was almost more than I could take. Where did this child come from? Where was the sweet boy I'd entered the store with?  In the truck, he was informed that I was VERY angry with him and I was telling Santa.  Some may not approve but when we got home he received three swats on his bottom. One for not listening, one for running off, one for making a scene in the store. Needless to say I am not having a good day.  Wish you were here.

10PM

My heart hurts the most when I'm left alone with my thoughts. Please call anytime you can, no matter the hour. I love you with all my heart and hope you are well. I know I go on and on about Jacob and me and ask little about you. Please know I worry and want to know how you are. 

From our last call I know you are eating. How’s sleep going for you? You were not getting so much before you left. What is the weather like? I know that your first day is tomorrow, well today for you. I hope all goes well. Never forget you are my heart.

Dec 11th, my birthday

Thank you again for calling this morning it meant so much to me. Your little stinker-bug is being 3, still all is well. We've been up since 7AM.  Jacob has been so unpredictable who knows how he will be behaving later today? Love you, sweet dreams.

Dec 12th, 530AM

Awake! Woke up early to write to you. So tired, don't think I will be able to do this every day during the week. Looks like writing at night might be easier.  Jacob is sweetly sleeping on your side of the bed. I have him fall asleep in his bed and put him in our bed after he's asleep so it is not so very different from how it was when you were here. How are things going there for you? How was your first Monday? What are the people like? How are your sleeping quarters? Do you have internet?  We love and miss you.  Being without you for 6 months is not going to be easy. Not having you here makes my life feel like a hole has been punched in it. Jacob does try his best to keep me running and to fill every second of my day with something to do and love.  He sends his daddy big kisses and hugs. He says all the time that he's big “like daddy”. He misses you. 

830PM

Jacob has been the perfect little boy tonight. He must be sick.   We are turning in early tonight, I'm beat and he's almost asleep.  Your sister sent me flowers at work. So very pretty and very sweet of her. I know I'm forgetting something...what is it? Can’t remember. Oh!  The dishwasher is broken, the toilet broke - I fixed it.  The belt on the vacuum broke - I fixed that too. Michelle said the dishwasher probably has a blocked line. She will take a look at it when she gets here, until then I will have to wash the dishes by hand.  SUPER!   Jacob sends you his love and misses you so much. He now understands that you are gone and won’t be home for a long time. Today he was looking up at the sky asking, "daddy where are you?” Made me sad. He's a good boy. Have a wonderful day! Love you, XOXOXO, Donna 

Dec13th, 6:30PM

Sorry to hear that your phone lines went down. I guess that is another benefit of deployment we have the privilege of enjoying.  How was the rest of your day?  I am still working on the sale of the house in LA.  Your little dare devil has started to climb EVERYTHING!   I don't want to be a hovering mother but really?  Just how much rope am I supposed to allow him before I pull him in? I fear the accident insurance I just purchased was not in vain.  A car passed the house tonight; you know the one that sounds like yours – with all the aftermarket changes to it.  Jacob thought it was you.  He started to cry when I told him it wasn't you, this also happened when a motorcycle passed the other day.  He loves and misses his daddy.  Do not stress over not being able to phone.  I know things there are complicated and it will take some time before we will be able to speak.  Love you, XOXOX, Donna